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What’s the difference between selfishness and being self-centered?

Although being self-centered may be seen as both a good and bad quality, selfishness is often regarded as a more negative trait.

We enlisted the expertise of a panel of experts to clarify the distinctions and similarities between self-centeredness and selfishness.

Here’s what they had to say.

They’re related, but they’re not the same.

Linda Mueller is a life coach who is certified.

Selfishness and self-centeredness are related but distinct traits. Consider selfishness as a behavior and self-centeredness as a condition of being.

When someone is self-centered, everything revolves around them. Whatever you say, they have the ability to undermine you or cast doubt on the influence your predicament has on them.

When you inform a self-centered buddy you’ve lost your work, she’ll either inquire whether you’ll have to postpone your next trip together or she’ll tell you about the time she lost her job and how much worse her position was than yours.

A selfish individual prioritizes his or her own needs and desires above those of others. They desire ‘it all’ for themselves and find it difficult to give.

A selfish individual will leave you standing in the rain waiting to be picked up while they watch a TV program for an additional 15 minutes.

Both of these are on a scale of one to ten. A person might be selfish in a single instance without being selfish overall. Self-centered conduct is similar, but it is more likely to be persistent.


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We’re all egotistical.

Margaret J. King, Director at The Center for Cultural Studies & Analysis

Self-centeredness is where the human mind and emotions begin. We’re all egotistical..

As we become older and more mature, we expand on that foundation as social creatures. We gradually achieve that equilibrium and learn how to switch from self to society.

Selfishness is defined as a lack of social maturity that causes a certain number of people to prioritize their ego above their social personality.

We acknowledge narcissism as a result in severe circumstances.


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A person who is self-centered is preoccupied with themselves.

Madison Park Psychological Services’ founder, Yasmine Saad

A person who is self-centered is preoccupied with themselves.. Their attention moves away from others to themselves.

A depressed individual or someone who is having hallucinations, for example, might be self-centered.

A person seeking to address a problem might also be self-centered. Others believe them to be busy within.

A person who is self-centered is judged less harshly than someone who is selfish.

A selfish individual is just interested in their personal profit or benefit. Because the emphasis is on increasing one’s own gain, often at the cost of others, selfishness has a far more negative meaning.

Others regard selfish individuals as thoughtless and unwilling to share.

Sympathy vs Compassion

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It Is Possible To Reframe ‘Self-Centeredness’ In A Positive Light

Licensed Psychologist Emily Malcoun

In therapy, these words are interchangeable.

One might be self-centered in the sense that everything must cater to their desires and needs, yet they do share their goods and experiences with others.

‘Self-centered’ may also be seen in a good manner. In a positive context, the term “self-centered” may be reframed to imply “self-grounded” or “focused in oneself in a healthy manner.” Self-care is a priority for me, so I’m anchored, grounded, and grounded.

Selfishness is not required of those who are self-centered in the good meaning of the term. They take care of their own needs in a healthy manner, leaving them with something to contribute to others.

What Am I Doing With My Life?

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Selfish people have a narcissistic sense of self.

The Foundation for Positive Psychology’s Executive Vice President, Niseema Diemer

I like the phrase “focused in self” instead of “self-centered.” You may feel and know the part of you that has been consistent throughout your life after you have established a core in which to sense yourself.

When you’re centered in yourself, you’re confident in who you are and can be adaptable. You’ve grown deep roots through years of being interested about how you’re doing in the world and how you might improve.

When a person is completely centered in themselves, they may be in a relationship without losing sight of who they are or having to rely on others to validate who they are.

You like being around a person who is focused on themselves because they become more open to seeing and accepting people for who they are.

Selfish people have a narcissistic sense of self. and believes that everyone should be in service of upholding/supporting that image.

How To Stop Thinking About The Past

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People that are self-centered are hesitant to share.

Kevin Darné is a relationship and dating expert.

People who are self-centered want or expect the world to revolve around them. They’re often described as high-maintenance. They have a strong desire to be the focus of attention. They always find a way to turn any discussion subject into something about themselves.

Friends and family members often tell them, “It’s not always about you!”

People that are self-centered are hesitant to share., whether it’s material things, space, or time with anyone.

They’re also hesitant to return favors that have been extended to them. A selfish lover, for example, is unconcerned about whether or not his or her spouse is happy in bed.

Selfish individuals are takers rather than givers. They also have a hard time empathizing with others who are less wealthy. The response to the following question determines their drive to achieve anything: What am I getting out of it?

How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship

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Selfishness entails just thinking about yourself.

Psychologist and Success Coach Sharon Grossman

People burn out in part because they believe that taking care of oneself is selfish. They must concentrate on everyone else. In other words, they’re suggesting that being selfish in this context means concentrating on oneself while ignoring others.

So, if I’m meditating to better my thinking, I’m wasting time that might be spent on others, and it’s selfish.

The reality is that putting oneself first in this manner is good because it keeps us in top shape to continue to help others.

That is what it is to be self-centered. You recognize that you come first, but you aren’t the only one who deserves your attention.

In a nutshell, being selfish implies solely thinking about oneself, but being self-centered entails taking care of yourself in order to benefit others.

In my book, The 7E Solution to Burnout, I outline a number of strategies to become more self-centered and, as a result, take better care of yourself to avoid burnout.

You may drastically improve the quality of your life by identifying this mental change. In other words, you may prosper without feeling guilty.

What Does It Mean When You Dream About Someone?

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Before helping others, a healthy self-centered person takes care of themselves.

Melissa Gentry is the founder and CEO of Healing the Love.

Although the two terms seem to be interchangeable, they are really very distinct.

A self-centered person is the center of their existence, and in extreme cases, it may look as though the world revolves around them.

Before attempting to assist others, a healthy self-centered person takes care of oneself first; like they say on the airline before take-off, “Put your mask on first before helping another.”

It is critical that we take care of ourselves physically and emotionally first, so that we can be completely present and enjoy our lives and relationships.

We deprive the world and our relationships of our full potential if we don’t take care of our own needs first.

Furthermore, since we are poorly rested and busy, we lose out on enjoying our life.

However, extending self-centered conduct to the point where you don’t care about anybody except yourself might turn you into a selfish person.

A selfish person is typically just concerned with their personal well-being and is unconcerned about the well-being of others.

A selfish individual is often unable to look beyond himself and their surroundings. A selfish person may become obsessed with their own wants and desires, and may even grow enraged if those needs and desires are not realized.

Because of their lack of care for others, selfish individuals often have relationship problems.

Some persons who are exceedingly selfish and insensitive may be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.

Watch This Video-

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